Mr. Puniverse 2007

So for the past month or so I've been working with Fuel Marketing (Gold's Gym's marketing/ad agency that Amber used to work for) in planning the Gold's Gym 2007 Mr. Puniverse Competition. It was tough and fun (how's that for passive ambiguity?!).
Thursday night was the actual event. We were able to round up Big Budah (from Fox13), Artie Fufkin (X96), Miss Utah '07 (Heather Anderson), and Mr. Universe. It was standing room only as the venerable Mike B and the lovely Keri Holland hosted the competition.
Here are a couple pics.

Nothing's Happening!!!

Remember when I said I didn't want any part of labor? Well I've changed my mind. I want to go to into labor - I pray to go into labor. I'm totally excited about going into labor because it means I won't have to carry around a bowling ball inside me anymore.

Unfortunately Holden is not feeling any of my anxiety or urgency. He's apparently super thrilled to just be hanging out (upside down mind you) inside of me. Why is that? Can it be comfortable to be curved up in a ball like that? I can't imagine liking that....

Well so I've taken to talking to Holden every night about the specific pleasures this world has to offer him in the hopes that I can coax him out. I've promised to give him his own room, to not dress him in anything embarrassing, to let him drool on my cell phone if he wants and I've even promised him that he can stay up late playing XBox with Wes.

But nothing is working. Holden is clearly displaying Wes' aversion to nagging. Like father, like son. Oh well, he'll be worth the wait.

Allhallows Eve 2007

I'll get things rolling with a picture from our 2006 Halloween costumes. Those of you familiar with the Fox television gem "Arrested Development" will instantly recognize mine and Amber's costumes. We are Lindsay and Tobias Funke. Naturally, all Amber has to say upon reflection is, "Uh! Look how skinny I was! Weeeees, will I ever be skinny again!?"
Yes, Amber - you'll be skinny again. Just stop eating babies.


This Halloween, as much as we wanted to go all out (I had delusions of grandeur involving a Ghostbusters costume or an awesome super-spy ninja), we just didn't have time to put anything of substance together. So I raided our closets and put together this two humble costumes. I am Borislav and Amber is Svetlana - we are Russians.


We spoke in Russian accents and looked all around grumpy the entire evening.

Here's a pic of us and Caleb and Trisha (one of the only other couples to dress up). I love how - and this is true - everything Caleb is wearing belongs to Trisha except the black long-sleeved shirt. Even the shoes! Now there's a couple in love!

More Wyoming Pics

Give Us Our Money Back!

So Wyoming is pretty famous for, you know, its mountains, lakes and scenery. And wanting to embrace all the Wyomingness of the place, Sarah Jo, Jesse and I made the trek out to the Teton National Park. We drove up, greeted the gate security guard and told him we wanted to have lunch at Jenny Lake Lodge.
What a surprise, then, to find out that after paying $25 to enter the park - let's repeat that: twenty-five dollars - we drove up and found out that NOTHING was open!! All the restaurants were closed, the visitor's centers were closed....the whole park was completely deserted. The only living thing we saw was a squirrel....I think it was a squirrel.

The really sad thing is that the lakes were deserted too :( At least the mountains and trees were still there!

So Jesse and I decided to take on the mission of GETTING OUR MONEY BACK. I mean, come on - it was a matter of principle! We played good cop, bad cop (jess was the good cop - let's face it, she's nicer than I am and). This is us in the background talking to the gate guard. I'm the one with the huge belly (hard to miss).

I played the pregnant card hard. In fact, I think it was my grumpy line "look, I'm pregnant and hungry and we told you we wanted to go to the park specifically to eat and you should have told us that nothing was open," that finally got the guard to give us our money back.





Hurrayyyy we got our money back. And then spent it on pizza :)

Cambridge Summit III

Nine years ago I met these fabulous friends while doing a study abroad program in England. They are so amazing that it would be hard to describe them with any justice in a short blog entry, but I'll try. Sarah Jo is an amazing writer, mother-extraordinaire, former college literature teacher and ex-navy wife (she and her husband recently got out - hurray). And Jesse is a screen writer in LA, personal assistant and probably the smartest person I've every met. They are amazing. Needless to say, I always love our "Cambridge Summits." This year was SJ's turn and she chose Jackson Hole.



Wyoming was stunning. We stared at dead animals mounted on walls, walked around the cute shops, discussed everything imaginable and ate the best breakfasts EVER at our B&B.








And, being 8 1/2 months pregnant, I slept a lot.

World Series Bound!

SOX vs. ROX
I'm torn - but my allegiance lies with one of my best friends, Paps.

Other "Paps" I love...?
This guy and this guy.

My Buddy and Me!

To celebrate the eventual Red Sox's ALCS win tonight over the Indians (*knock on wood*), I thought I'd write about a great weekend I had with one of my best friends, Jonathan Papelbon.


Paps and I met at Toys 'R Us about a month ago. We have so much in common. We both love the Red Sox, we're 26 years old, we have cute wives and love pink polo shirts.

So while our wives were out buying fabric or baking pies or something, Paps and I had a night full of manly merry-making.

Paps and I rocking out.


What better way to display our machismo than through Candy Land!

We love all the same comic books. But Amber doesn't like us staying up late reading them.


We sneaked out for Slurpees, but were wary of Amber catching us coming home.



















We're both pretty hardcore Hold'Em players, but with a '06 ERA of 0.92 and a 1.85 ERA in '07, you're not going to close out a hand against this guy - even if you're holding a full house, like I am.

Paps and me talking to our women. LL Cool P.

We had such a grand day, we just couldn't sleep. So we watched the rain fall.

34 weeks and counting

this is a picture from a few weeks back - but wes and i just haven't taken any pictures recently and i wanted to blog. i'm 34 weeks now and getting pretty tired these days. if i walk around too long my back hurts, if i stand too long my feet hurt and if i sit too long my butt hurts. it's a no-win situation. but feeling holden move around more sort of balances out the more negative aspects of being so far along.

today holden had the hiccups and it was awesome. wes doesn't really believe he can have hiccups - but he's not the one that has the big, hiccuping kid inside him - so my vote counts more.

wes and i have been rearranging the house to make room for holden. he now has a crib and a changing table and his own room - attached to ours. we had to move wes' "man's room" into the guest room - but wes can still be manly in there.

we are so excited about holden's room's theme. we'll take pictures when it's ready and show you our cool idea (if it all works).

holden's baby shower

my friends threw me (well holden) a baby shower about a month 1/2 ago but i was just BARELY able to wrest the camera from wes today - so these pictures are a little old. but the party was really fun. we went to mimi's cafe, had brunch and talked and i (well holden) got loads of presents!

No Thank You

I just read an article on babycenter.com (coolest place to go for week-by-week information on pregnancy) and they have this article on what Dads should expect for labor. It talks all about contractions and how to time them. I read it and it is totally freaking me out - so I'm sure it's going to freak Wes out.

It goes on and on about the stages of labor. I have decided, after a thorough investigation of labor, that I don't want any part of it.

http://www.babycenter.com/0_a-childbirth-cheat-sheet-for-dads-to-be_8244.bc

So there! No seriously - can I just say "no thank you" I don't really want to go into labor. There's got to be an easier way to have a baby than all this....

Oh PS - babycenter.com (who is alway right) said that at 31 weeks I am to expect to be pummeled tirelessly by my kid. Well done, Holden - you're right on track obviously.

31 Weeks How your baby's growing:

This week, your baby measures about 16 inches long. He weighs a little over 3 pounds and is heading into a growth spurt. He can turn his head from side to side, and his arms, legs, and body are beginning to plump out as needed fat accumulates underneath his skin. He's probably moving a lot, too, so you may have trouble sleeping because your baby's kicks and somersaults keep you up. Take comfort: All this moving is a sign that your baby is active and healthy.

Mazda Race Team

I did this race event thing at my work for the Mazda race team - they showed with RX-8's and MX-5's and signed helmets, etc. Anyway - this is just a funny picture of them all laughing at me trying to get into and fit in a race car. It was so tiny and my belly got in the way. Anyway it was a fun event but I don't think that Holden and I are destined for Nascar.

Growing Exponentially Each Day

Here is my belly at 7 months - after giving it a good hard scratching obviously. Seriously, my stomach itches like crazy. But anyway just charting my progress, though I seriously need to take another picture because it's growing exponentially now.

Holden is fierce. I woke up Monday morning feeling like I had broken ribs on the right side. He kicked or punched (not quite sure) me all night long I'm guessing and it has taken three full days for me to recover enough to laugh out loud without pain. I have to sit straight up or he comes at me with his flailing limbs.

Other than that and a few nasty flu bugs I've caught lately - all is going well. My doctor is having me come in every two weeks now and I get to have another ultra sound next week! Maybe this time I'll be able to make out something (other than the obvious heart beat).

My 10 Year HS Reunion Wasn't Terrible!

I'm not quite sure why I was so wary of going to my ten year high school reunion.....maybe it's because when Wes talks about his HS experience it sounds like light and fluffy pancakes - and yet when I think about the things that my friends and I dealt with it sounds so much more dense.

Not that I didn't have fun - I'm sure I did....maybe it's because I'm a girl and girls have such complex emotions that no matter what age we are things are intense for us. Here is a group shot of my closest friends in HS. I love them dearly. Aren't they beautiful?

I'm definitely glad the night was "just nice" - everyone was nice to each other, no hostility or lame pretense. Everyone was just nice. And Wes was incredible given the fact that I totally ditched him the entire night- he just hung out and made talk with the other husbands/boyfriends and entertained himself by playing BrickBreaker on his phone. I can't imagine me being so easy when he has his 10 year reunion - he was class president so I'm in for a real treat :)

"I had a dream, I had an awesome dream"

So Amber and I were out to dinner last night and had a wonderful conversation about music. I have come to realize that I can no longer berate her for listening to her guilty pleasures in as much as she recognizes the fact that they are guilty (very guilty).

This got me thinking about how my guiltiest of musical pleasures compare to hers. As I sat over my pizza in a kind of calm horror, I realized that there's some crap out there that I absolutely love.

Exhibit A: Lionel Richie
Uh, hello? How can anyone deny "Ballerina Girl," "Hello," "Penny Lover," "Stuck on You," "All Night Long," "Say You, Say Me," "Dancing on the Ceiling," or "3 Times a Lady?"
Answer: you can't.

There was a restaurant in Bulgaria that I frequently frequented for one reason only - they played nothing but Lionel Richie's greatest hits. It never got old. His voice is butter. His fro dominates. His popped collar is the only reason guys who try to do the same aren't instantly damned to perdition. He can wear white pants any month of the year.



Exhibit B: Hall & Oates
Talk about Ebony and Ivory - move the eff over, Sinatra and Stevie! And will my crush on crooners with lusciously huge hair ever end?
We're talking about "Private Eyes," "Kiss On My List," "You Make My Dreams," "I Can't Go For That (No Can Do)," "Out of Touch," and of course "Maneater."

I've never seen one member of a duo (John Oates) be so content with being such a minor part of the band before.

Here, watch this YouTube video of "Private Eyes" for heaven's sake! Aren't they the cutest little guys you've ever seen? Isn't it so adorable how John Oates blinks his eyes so big, or Daryl Hall had probably practiced that spin move in front of the mirror for hours just to get it down?

Exhibit C: KD Lang
You probably didn't think I'd go that guilty, huh? Well, to be fair, it's mainly just one song by KD Lang. I don't know why, but I could listen to "Constant Craving" all day.

I think it's the sweeping end of each verse, the ebbing and flowing accordion, and KD Lang's tonally gorgeous and soft voice that moves me, because it's definitely not Ms. Lang moving me - lesbians aren't my cup of tea.

Here's the video, which isn't that bad, if you can get past the fact that she could be Paul Reubens' double.

There are plenty more, but I don't want to incriminate myself to much. Plus, too many such revelations could be too much for some of you.

And lastly, today's my favorite wife's birthday, and I love her so much! We're going to Lugano's tonight - sucks that I'll have KD Lang in my head the whole evening.

...and a curse on Anna

Here's the comment from the recipient of my ever-faithful hubstituting, Anna Shirley, regarding my wife's recent entry about my Bob Dylan concert foray:

In our case Anna, Amber usually does like the songs Bob Dylan writes.
(SCORE - Bob: 01 Anna: 00)
And further more, the Indigo Girls aren't worthy to listen to Bob Dylan, let alone cover such a righteous, righteous song such as "Tangled Up in Blue."
(SCORE - Bob: 02 Anna: -1)
I am, however, channeling the angst of Bob champions such as Paul Merten, so this could be considered ganging up on poor Anna.
(SCORE - Bob: 02 Anna: 00)
And, if asked whom I loved more out of these two intellectual heavyweights, I'd answer 10 times out of 10, "Anna."
(SCORE - Bob: 02 Anna: 01)

It was a close one, Anna, but Bob won. Everyone, can't we just agree that Bob paints one of the most concrete and personal narratives ever in this song? Yeah, Bob's voice is a bizarre acquired taste, but at least it's not a dime-a-dozen pop "maven" like Kelly Clarkson (sorry, Amber - I had to) or pseudo-emotional drivel like the stylings of that one "Delilah" song.

Here, take a listen (or re-listen) and hear for yourself:
Bob Dylan - Tangled Up in Blue

May 9th called - it wants its blog entry back

It's been four months since that incredible Game 2 of the Western Conference Semifinals where the Jazz beat the Warriors 127 to 117 in overtime because of the heroics of LDS apostle Robert D. Hales.
Wait, you didn't know about the incredible, clutch performance of The Haleacious One (the nickname given to him by L. Tom Perry)?

The Energy Solutions Arena's lower bowl was littered with baby blue, in honor of the infantile nature of the arch rival of The Haleacious One's alma mater.

I was able to round up a couple suite tickets (in the Citadel Broadcasting suite). My date for the evening, Jonathan, was casting his best jinx on the Golden State Warriors (see left). They were the upstart braggarts of the 2007 NBA Playoffs and the Jazz were about to serve them some humble pie.


The game was an intense affair, punctuated by the noticeable loss of starting 2-guard Derek Fisher. The arena was on edge, but there was a peculiar calm coming from the suite directly to the right of us. I couldn't put my finger on the particular brand of assuredness emanating from the small group.

As the fourth quarter came to an end, the tension was reaching a palpable climax. The Jazz were putting together a historic late game rally, spurned by the sudden appearance of Derek Fisher, direct from New York. I would later find out the the viewing television audience knew that he was en route, but we in the area had no idea that Fish would emerge from the sea of the Big Apple in time to see any action. After some huge missed opportunities by the Warriors and some stifling defense and a key 3-pointer from Fish, the Jazz forced an Overtime decision. There was something too perfect, almost scripted about the entire affair. The Jazz came out firing in the opening minute of the Overtime period and a win was never in doubt - a suitable yet subtle denouement that was definitely story book.

It wasn't until the waning minutes of OT that I realized why such a perfect playoff game was unfolding in the dramatic fashion it was. Gazing into the adjacent suite, I zeroed in on the source - the reason - for the Jazz's victory that night. The apostle Robert D. Hales was sitting there, stoic and confident, as if willing - no, controlling the entire outcome of the game. What I and tens of thousands of others were witness to that night was a miracle - a great and eternal plan to reward the Jazz and their fan base for years of faithful devotion after the Fall of Stockton and Malone to the ever-selfish deceiver, Michael Jordan.

bob dylan is still performing?

-post by amber -

call me ignorant, call me rude, call me musically-challenged and beatnik-deprived, but is bob dylan really still performing? i didn't even know he was still alive until a few months ago. my husband is in teluride, colorado right now with is equally-music-obsessed friends watching bob dylan perform tonight. i'm trying to hide the resentment, really i am, but is this man - of which i have posted a picture so you can all see the quandry i am in - really appealing enough to leave your pregnant wife for? let's be serious. :) just kidding, wes. i promise i'll get over it.

i was all for him going until i realized just how much i miss my husband when he's gone. not to mention the fact that we haven't progressed at all on our house-fixing-up because we've been out of town so much lately. and

meanwhile, i am reading harry potter the 7th and trying not to finish it too soon or i'll have nothing to do for the rest of the weekend. thus my blogging. :) maybe i'll clean the house....

Anna - this is for you

About Me:

4 jobs I've had: marketing director, PR director, research assistant, editor, waitress, hostess, oh wait that's more than four. i was never an accountant you'll see....

4 movies I can watch over and over: Ten Things I Hate About You, Pride and Prejudice (all versions), Mean Girls, Jon Tucker Must Die = mostly all brainless but humorous girl movies

4 favorite movies: Mean Girls, Pride and Prejudice (BBC), Brick, and I can't decide right now...

4 random places I've lived: New York, Texas, England (for a summer) and Ghana (for a summer)

4 favorite TV shows: I'm obsessed with Gilmore Girls. And anything on the Food network channel.

4 favorite reality TV shows: Hate them, sorry

4 favorite books: (I added this one because it's easier for me) The Brother's Karamazov, Alice in Wonderland, Tess of the D'ubervilles and every single book written byt he Bronte sisters. Oh and everything by Jane Austen. And Harry Potter - all of them, and Twilight. Sorry - I told you I'm not much for counting correctly....

4 of my favorite places I've been: Amsterdam, Florence, Sofia (just kidding I'm not a masochist), Cambridge and Manhattan

4 favorite foods: Italian anything, Sushi in any way, shape or form (of course now that I'm pregnant my cravings are stronger than ever and I can't have what I want!), Steak and potatoes and chocolate cake.

4 websites I check daily: Wells Fargo - I'm a woman obsessed with finances - Hotmail, various Blogs and a bunch of boring ones for work.

4 favorite hobbies: being jealous that my husband actually has hobbies, freaking out over finances, planning my next vacation and avoiding the reality of what i'm going to do when i have a baby.

pregnant in las vegas

-post by amber-

right after wes got back from scout camp, we took off and drove south. i stayed in st. george and worked for a few days and he went on to las vegas for a gold's gym international convention.

the second night i was in st. george without him the entire city's power got shut off. there was NO WHERE i could go. the dealership i was working in got really hot, movie theaters were closed, stores were closed, no one had air conditioning and no one had any idea how long it would last. i was staying in a tiny cute little mobile home that was stifling! i lasted all of 3 minutes in there when i called wes and announced that i was driving to las vegas for the night.

air conditioning is a beautiful thing. his bosses took everyone out to dinner at the four seasons, i was the only female of the lot and they were all very nice about the fact that i was crashing their boys night. i had to take off again in the morning to go back to st. george and work for a couple more days and then turned around on wednesday morning and went back to las vegas to spend the day with wes. he and his friends and i went to fashion show mall, ceasars palace (where this picture was taken), went to the cheesecake factory (i wish cheesecake appealed to me right now but it doesn't), laid out at the pool (well i did, wes played poker in the beachside casino) and saw wes give his presentation. it was fun, but driving so much took its toll on holden. he didn't like it very much and made his sentiments known the evening we got back. :)

fencing fencing...

--post by amber --

we've been working really hard on our house to get it ready to sell. and when i say "we" i mean wes. and his dad has been a huge help. our goal is to put it on the market by august. wes and his dad put up a fence around our side yard and it looks so good! i try to help but realize i'm just in the way - so i just sit around drinking a lot of water and pretend that i'm working hard....

Holden Hawkins Warren

--entry by amber ---

we had an ultra sound this week - i am 20 1/2 weeks along - and found out it is indubitably a BOY! we were excited but not surprised. it would have knocked my socks on their behinds if it had been a girl; i have totally just "known" it was a boy.

so ultra sounds are strange - the doctors and radiologists point out all these blobs on the screen and say, "oh that's his thalamus" or "these are his kidneys" - it's so weird because i didn't recognize anything. i am just taking their word for it. i mistook his heart for his mouth and his stomach for his head. i was all turned around.

the things that did actually look remotely recognizable were his hands. he had them all clenched in a fist and moving around. he punches me a lot i think. it's cute now while he's 12 ounces but when he gets bigger those hands are going to be full-on weapons.

so we already have the name all picked out. it will be Holden Hawkins Warren. the middle name, of course, being my maiden name. and holden being from holden in The Catcher in the Rye. though possibly one of the most well-written and defined characters in literature (in my humble opinion), it isn't because the character is super heroic or anything. we just really liked the name.

whelp that's it for now. we're going to st. george and las vegas again for work. maybe we'll take some pictures there.