Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Something wrong with this picture

Anyone who is not a parent yet or not sure if they want babies should skip this post.

I came home from work today to experience the nastiest diaper change of my life. There I was, holding my cute baby on my lap next to while Wes and I scoured the Curry in a Hurry menu on his laptop, when out of no where, Holden (who mind you had already had his messy diaper for the day) sharted. If you don't know the definition of the term shart, don't look it up. It's pretty graphic.

Anyway, it was so loud that it startled me and I panicked, thinking I should probably change him asap.......something about the way it sounded like big rocks falling into a lake......Oh boy. I put him on the changing table and runny, messy, breast-fed poop had managed to get all the way down his pants into his socks! It was sticky like honey and of similar hue. Gross! I made Wes come and watch because I couldn't endure the experience alone. He came in and we worked together in undressing him in such a way where we would get as little of the offending excrement on us. I thought we were so successful, holding out his soiled onesie with our thumb and forefingers.....until.......I........looked......down. My cute gray velour sweat pants had runny, sticky poop all the way down the left leg. Sick sick sick. I started screaming and Wes started laughing hysterically while begging me not to get it on the floor (because of course at this point it had been running down my leg for a while without my notice and was nearing the ground). Wow it was so gross I am really looking forward to the day he can take care of his business without me.

When does potty training start?

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Working in St. George

Things I love about St. George:
* That it's not part of the Arctic freeze.
* The contrast of red sandstone slopes against the glacier peaks
* Driving behind old people in their Town Cars and seeing that they're keeping alive the tradition of crocheting holders for their Kleenex boxes.
* That there are so many golf courses every single person in St. George could golf at the same time and still there would be no waiting.


Things I hate about St. George
* The drive. I got clocked at doing 100 and got a pretty pricey ticket.
* That the old people in Town Cars drive so slowly that I can see their Kleenex boxes in their rear window.
* Not seeing this beautiful face:

Saturday, February 23, 2008

2 Cents doesn't go as far as it used, but here's mine anyway

I sympathize with many of the points raised when it comes to the Wal-Mart issue. (Can we call it "Wal-MartGate?) I can see how easy and seemingly just it is to take the position she does on some of those issues. It can be easy to recognize and treat the symptom while the illness goes ignored. In this case, however, even the illness turns out to only be a bruise on the arse from falling off a horse. America is changing and adapting to best serve its citizens, and Wal-Mart epitomizes everything good and noble in our pursuit to ride off into the sunset without falling off that horse.

OK, maybe that last sentence was a stretch. I don't even shop at Wal-Mart. And I know what you're thinking - no, it's not because Amber won't let me. I just choose not to. And it's a great choice to have. But some people would rather you not have that choice. You see, I don't see how it's any better to oppress Wal-Mart and force people into paying higher prices at the Ma & Pop stores. In fact, it's just as "evil." But I'm getting ahead of myself, because this kind of argument usually doesn't appeal to the emotional thinkers that, for all its bigness and success and image, hate Wal-Mart. You can't pit emotion against emotion, because either no one ever wins or both sides end up surrendering. So I'll take us into the happy land of Facts and Numbers - won't you come with me?

Almost 2 years ago, a shiny new Wal-Mart opened up just outside Chicago. When this Wal-Mart opened, over 25,000 people applied for only 325 job openings.
Wal-Mart, the most prodigious job-creator in the history of the entirety of mankind, has almost as many employees (1.3 million) as the U.S. military has uniformed personnel.
That one goes down hard, doesn't it, Mr. or Ms. Naysayer. How about this one.
By lowering consumer prices, Wal-Mart costs about 50 retail jobs among competitors for every 100 jobs Wal-Mart creates.

Wow! 25,000 people can't be wrong.

A McKinsey company study concluded that Wal-Mart accounted for 13 percent of the nation's productivity gains in the second half of the 1990s, which probably made Wal-Mart about as important as the Federal Reserve in holding down inflation.

It's amazing to see a private entity doing as much to fight inflation as the Fed.

Wal-Mart and its effects save shoppers more than $200 billion a year, dwarfing such government programs as food stamps ($28.6 billion) and the earned-income tax credit ($34.6 billion).
Wait, is that another private organization doing more to help the middle- and lower-class than welfare or the EITC (which I actually don't have a huge problem with in practice).


But here's one of my favorite ones, and it's one that address the job quality and job benefits issue of Wal-Mart employment opportunities.
People who by groceries at Wal-Mart save a minimum of 17%. That's enough to attract 1/5 of the nations grocery-buying consumers. But other grocery store unions don't like that, and instead of actually competing with Wal-Mart (which would speak to the integrity capitalism and help consumers) they go crying to the Democrats, demanding laws to force Wal-Mart into paying wages and benefits. Now remember, these are wages and benefits that are already good enough to attract 25,000 people for only 325 jobs. These jobs are more than suitable for job-seekers at large, and are even envied and sought after. But most importantly (and this may sound weird at first, but it is an important fact) health-care and certain wage minimums are not rights that any of us have. I don't have a right to affordable health care.
There is no provision in the Constitution or Bill of Rights that says anyone has the right to health care. It's the government's role to "secure these rights," meaning our inalienable rights, and so certain benefits under certain circumstances must be available, and we must get paid for our labor - but for the government to dictate how much is immoral. Let the market do that, and if it's a problem with the people, then there's no way a Wal-Mart could possibly survive.

I hope you don't mind if I turn into a loud-mouthed, snarky, insufferable conservative for a moment longer, but this is a matter of Liberals lording over the people, taking choice and accountability out of their hands. Liberals see the choices Americans are making with their dollar, and yes, their ballots, and they declare Americans are in dire need of more and more supervision (of course, supervision by Liberals). If it's not Wal-Mart, it's McDonald's or Coca-Cola. Why, just last week I had Ronald McDonald accost me and literally shove two quarter-pounders down my throat. That's why America is obese - rampant force-feeding clowns!
Of course, that's absurd - but how else could Democrats claim to have the right to dictate how many trans-fats are in our food, or how many Burger Kings are allowed into our cities, or how hot or cool we can keep our houses, or which physicians we can see and for which ailments?
And so now, they have us all convinced that Wal-Mart is an evil, corporate predator and that they must be stopped from forcefully corralling us into their stores and physically compelling us to partake of their lower prices. The problem with that is, we aren't being forced to do anything. Wal-Mart has every right - and even a moral responsibility - to do exactly what those Ma & Pop stores are trying to do. And if those Ma & Pop stores throw in the towel and refuse to compete, or adapt, or even try, then shame on them. I choose not to shop at Wal-Mart because I value individualized customer service and more intimate retail experiences. That's all any Ma & Pop store needs to do to get my business, and I know I'm not alone.

So if you hate Wal-Mart, don't call them evil for offering lower consumer prices to those who need it. Don't call them tyrants for stimulating the job market in a way no other entity can. Don't call them predators for putting $200 Billion back into consumers' pockets. Hate them for being a big, faceless box. For being ugly and unpleasant. And do what my wife faithfully does and don't shop there. And especially don't get on anyone else's case for shopping there.

Here are a couple of articles I got my info from. You might even notice some crafty "re-working" of actual creative content. My high school teachers taught me well. And these articles even cover some ground that I didn't.

Please, please, please pay particular attention to the sentiment expressed in the final paragraph of the first linked article (the one on townhall.com). It reveals what I believe to be a fundamental flaw in the Liberal way of thinking. Yes, it's a much-too-broad and perhaps unfair illustration of the flawed conceit of Liberalism, but it's revealing nonetheless.
In case it's not yet obvious to anyone else - yes, I am often a total jerk when it comes to talking politics. I'm the most tactful person I know when it comes to any other aspect of life (just ask my wife), but I turn into Mr. Hyde's cycnical black-sheep brother when it comes to stuff like this. I apologize if anyone ever gets offended (it's not my intent at all), but I don't apologize for what I say.



Thursday, February 21, 2008

Go Green or Go Home

What's the deal with everybody rolling their eyes when you talk about being "green?" Or when you say the word "organic." Maybe a large portion of people right now are going green because it's fashionable, but who cares! If they're sheep - at least they're environmentally-conscious sheep. Sadly, my husband is one of those eye-rolling offenders. He thinks my determination to shop at Whole Foods - because I respect their focus on environmental interdependence, their goal to buy and sell local goods and their wide array of natural products - is just a phase and one that he hopes will end quickly given the spike in our grocery bills. Yes it's more expensive, but I'd like to point out that choices shouldn't always be driven by price. There's something to be said about the difference between price and cost. The cost of shopping at Wal-Mart (and yes I'm sure I'll offend about 60% of my friends by saying this) is so much greater to our communities. I shouldn't even go on my rampage against that corporate predator because blogs get boring when they drone on forever. But let me just say this. I believe that everybody should be selective about where to do business. I don't respect Wal-Mart, therefore I don't do business with them, regardless of how much cheaper their produce, bread, milk, etc. probably is. When a company refuses to promote single women because "men with families need it more," or slashes benefits so that the majority of their workers are on part time and can't get health care so that I have to pay that difference in my taxes, or because that company doesn't bother buying its products from manufactures or plants that practice fair-trade, etc. I think we should all stand against it. And yes I'm that person at the grocery store that is now shopping with recycleable totes.

There are so many companies out there trying to focus on complying with environmentally-friendly practices and I applaud them. CNN just came out with a list of the Top 10 companies who have gone above and beyond what the law requires of them to be environmentally responsible.

The impetus for all of this is that I went to this conference on paper and how to print responsibly and it totally freaked me out. This speaker, Derek Smith from England was incredible and laid out all the damage our world is going through because of how much energy we use; which now that we've been surpassed by China who doesn't seem to give a crap that they're now the leading energy offender in the world, we're particularly screwed. Needless to say, I'm in the process of replacing all our light bulbs with energy-efficient bulbs, never turn on the lights unless I absolutely need to and make it so cold in our house that I wear a sweater all day long. Not that I'm perfect, I drive a beefy Explorer and haven't thrown out all my cleaning supplies to replace them with biodegradeable or natural cleaning products. I'm taking one thing at a time. Yesterday I ordered "green" plastic garbage bags that will disintegrate and compost in a year. Wes is just having a field day over this blog entry I just know he's going to try to peg me as a hippy and apologize to all our friends about me. But I'm proud of my endeavors, as simple as they are. He'll come around - I'll have him converted in no time.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Find in Bulgaria

Wes' grandparents told us about this incredible find in Bulgaria. This 87 year old man turned in these gold plates he had found when he was younger to the Bulgarian National Museum of History. They were 24 carat gold, bound by three rings and had writings and drawings on them....remind you of something? Apparently they date back to 600 BC.

Friday, February 15, 2008

Lyrical Snobbery

Hi my name's Holden. I am a complete music snob - thanks entirely to my dad Wes. I can really appreciate a fine Italian opera every now and then and show-tunes are fun to sing along with, but what really makes me happy is Radiohead. Their new album, have you heard it? In Rainbows? It's beautiful. I also like Coldplay, Belle and Sebastian and Wilco, but my mom doesn't listen to much Wilco. I have to get my fix when my dad comes home. He's a big fan of Sufan Stevens which I really think I'd like to hear more of - but I don't think my mom likes it. She always turns it off when she comes home. My mom really wants to listen to country music - but really, are you kidding me? Country music is for washed up truck drivers and diner workers. I can't be expected to listen to that. Every time it comes on - even if it's just one song out of lots of others that I like - I do this great thing called crying until she turns it off. Ha. It works every time.

Tuesday, February 05, 2008

Superbowl Sunday

I think it's amazing that I can sit in front of the TV and watch nearly the entire Superbowl and not remember actually "seeing" any of it. I only remember the food and hanging out with some of my favorite people (Leggats and Hartles).

But honestly, my eyes just glaze over when sports are on. I don't get sports like football at all. All I see is a bunch of tidy uniforms moving what looks like two inches and then stopping, then moving again two inches and stopping. Occasionally there are a few "plays" that look like these guys are actually doing something useful, but that's rare.

However what Wes sees when he watches football is entirely different. He sees something more complicated than chess, more interesting than me (it's like I don't exist when there is football to look at), and more exciting than five different kinds of appetizers (again, almost the only I remember from Superbowl . . . .) I don't know that I'll ever "get" sports. I might just have to learn to tolerate them.
This is Wes after the Patriots lost. He was crushed. And provided perfect Blogging fodder. What a little baby. We all laughed of course and told Lily to give him a bottle because he needed a "bah bah" to make him feel better.

Friday, February 01, 2008

Showers of Babies

YAY here are some pics of the shower we did for Trisha. She had an awesome number of presents. and we had a pretty good turnout.
Becca and I threw it together and we had sushi and cookies and cake and dip and chips and salads...the food was good if i do say so myself.

You can't tell, but Holden is somewhere in the picture below...under the famed "Hooter Hider" trying to have dinner. These girls in my ward are the BEST! We totally did "baby voodoo" after everyone else left. I won't go into details because it sounds hokey but it TOTALLY works. You just have to be cool like us and believe it...
And how did Wes handle all the estrogen in the house you ask?? Very well, he was the perfect baby sitter to some of the little kids who came with their moms.

And there was so much commotion and fun that Holden decided to skip his nap.